Posted: February 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

As if the title wasn’t a dead give-away… do not read on if swearing, written erotica or downright rude things bemuse , befuddle or generally bewilder you.

If you’re easily offended – please – just back out slowly. No-one will ever tell. I promise.

Also – if you’re under the age of consent – you better sneak away too – but feel free to leave a little graffiti if you’re so inclined. Just don’t READ any of this.


I’d like to dedicate this to… nah – better not. Whilst these poems are about interesting women and situations – some of those women can be quite dangerous – and they know where I live! They know who they are. Thank GOD they don’t know each other

Phillip Barker


Lerve Song

Posted: February 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

Ahhhh – love – ain’t it grand
And poems about love are never bland
So keep your fingers
From without your throat
And on love’s sweet words –
We both shall bloat
And artificially sweetened words recite –
No more lyrics with social bite
We shall not bitch
Shall not complain
Though feeling something break
Deep in our brains…
Wait – I know what it is
Our love of words derailed
By emotionless proclamations
And sheets not love-juice stained…

Ahhhh love
Sweet love
Sweet sweet
Sweet sweet love
Sweet love like saccharine

A Satyrical Sonnet

Posted: February 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

From the cataracts at Camberdown
I spied a lady with a limp
It seemed I took her fancy
She sighed, “Come here, wimp!”

So hiking up my goatskin daks
And polishing my horn
Off we hied to the balefire dance
Where my goatskin duds got shorn

“Play me a tune upon your flute”
She coyly had her say
“You play it for me, rascally nymph”
          So she had her wicked way

Dawn when I awoke all stiff and sore
I was bereft of skin, and horns – all four!

Mrs McGill

Posted: February 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

The panties from Mrs McGill’s cauldron
Are blessed, and never need folding
And these magical nickers
taste better than snickers
And for that, Lil McGill, I’m beholden…

Canto C: Isadora

Posted: February 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

Silken ribbons of light
Wrap your pallid pulsating throat
Pastel isadora
Embracing some obscure breathless pursuit
The chronic fatigue,
Bereft of beans
Mind clean,

In truth –
Beyond hyperbolic shock
All value judgements aside
You have become
Once and forever
At least
Crowned for a day
And a long, asphyxiating, night
The Mistress of Tranquility Disturbed


Posted: February 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

A carafe of red
I recall she liked sad songs
and weeping at dawn
she loved  Kafka and Sartre
affected a beret and smoked Gauloise


Posted: February 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

On my back she writes
All the sorrow of her days
Covers me in heart-break

Then, she turns me to her
Composes the essence of her joy

Dawn, she leaves quietly
Finding the street’s anonymity
a soothing relief

Her book reads the morning news
And drinks coffee on the deck.